Last night it really happened. It got cut off.
We, indefinitely, broke up.
I was pretty numb to the news because I had just experienced a conversation and thought-swirling-session with Jordan that solidified my opinion on our situation; and it was just that: agreement in exactly what you said as you were making the break. I completely agreed. I had decided, not 30 minutes before, that us: Apart would be a better situation.
But you were offended and slightly hurt, I believe, when I didn't react in a way that you had expected. I think I'm a bit desensitized to time without you, right now, because of all of the places we've been.
My iPhone got here just in time. My music (usually an iPod) has always served as my best friend in times like this --times that I need to be alone with my thoughts. It goes right along with what you said about Murrows that create movie-like situations for ourselves. I feel more enriched, more at peace, and much more artistic and like myself when I am walking around life with narrative tunes in my ears.
Why is that?
I grew up this way. When I first began on life's path to self-discovery around the age of 15, this is how I did my art. My iPod was, truly, my only friend in high school. I would frequently people watch and journal with just a sketchbook, a sharpie, and my chunky original series iPod. I guess this is why I keep looking back at this stage with such affection and longing to go back to that kind of artistic thrive and inner peace.
The solution isn't going back to the "Andrea I Once Was," the key is mimmicking the actions that got me to that calm place, back then, now.
Serenity is not something specific to a stage of life. As a child of God, it is at my disposal at any time.
Numbers 6:26 (New International Version)
26 the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace." '
I'm going to stop letting my mouth run just as quickly as my mind.
I am going to pray for discernment and open my mouth sparingly, as I do.
This seems like a perfect time for me to write music. But I don't know that much will be written. ...But I do know that I am aloud to dream it up, until then.